Commentary: Covid-19 Personality Groups

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Commentary: Covid-19 Personality Groups

HERE’S the thing, being the weirdo that I am, for as long I can remember I have always had a plan in place for a pandemic type situation, especially a zombie outbreak. Rick Grimes got nothing on me.

So now that Covid-19 has made its unwanted but completely expected, arrival, I have managed to take things in stride. I have employed perhaps the greatest mental trait known to human kind…COMMON SENSE.

Thus far this has worked quite well for me. I haven’t overly panicked shopped. I wash my hands, limit my trips out of my sterile sanctuary of a home and despite being driven to the brink of insanity I have managed to keep my germ-magnet children semi occupied at home.

Generally, I feel prepared for the next coming months in regards to the basic survival of my family and myself.

What I was not prepared for was the many types of people I would experience over social media and during my rare and heavily hand-sanitized outings.

To give you a better idea, I have classified these people into the following personality groups:

The Basics:

The Basics are the people you see purchasing 400 packs of toilet paper, all the hand sanitizer and Lysol in the world. They haven’t really thought too hard about purchases but allowed panic and peer pressure to influence their decisions.

They are frantic, confused (or frantically confused) and seem to forget that the best way to avoid getting the virus is to actually avoid crowds, not join them in a feeding frenzy at the grocery. In a zombie apocalypse, they are the first to become the living dead.

The Trust No Ones:

The Trust No Ones is a group that has spent way too much time on the internet. As far as they are concerned, this virus was created by Bill Gates (or maybe even Steve Jobs), released in China, spread by 5G technology and is solely for the purpose of a secret vaccination (already created) to be distributed to the global population. It is important to note this vaccine has teeny tiny trackers that will be put into your body so the New World Order can track your every move.

Yeah Greg, like anyone is interested in your dismal existence.

They won’t admit it but they also fall into the same category as The Basics, frantic doomsday purchasers. The only difference is they’ve been stock piling since 2011 for the Mayan 2012 apocalypse they were convinced would happen. At Y2K, they weren’t brainwashed yet.

Stay weird guys, we all need a good in laugh.

The Politickers

This group personally annoys me the most. Urrgghh we get it, isn’t the Prime Minister and Cabinet you voted for. But instead of just listening to the advice on how to save your own damn life, you choose to bitch and complain for no real reason other than you think your preferential party would have done something better.

Fun Fact: I am pretty sure they would be doing the same things.

The Politickers seem to be stuck on the train of thought that Covid-19 is here because of Carnival. They also walk hand in hand with the Trust No One’s since they are convinced that the virus has been here since Carnival and it’s all been a huge cover up.

Seriously homies just zip it for five minutes and behave like adults.

The Rumshop We Eh Go Dead Batons

This group of people believes alcohol makes them bulletproof on a regular basis and now it makes them immune to Covid-19.

Pandemic, what?! They do not fear a slow breathless death on a hospital bed in Caura. Nope they out to lime!

This group is often defined by their dimness and inability to understand that while they may not die, they may pass the virus onto someone who cannot survive it.

They have stuck to the belief that alcohol, river baths and the company of at least 65 friends and family protects them from a global pandemic

The Rumshop We Eh Go Dead Batons are often the first ones to cry when they get sick and blame everyone else but themselves.

Among these four main groups, lie the Super Homeschooler Mothers, the I Sneezed, I Lysoled Myself and I am Now Waiting to Die hypochondriac crew and other characters of varying degrees of ridiculousness.

All in all we are in an uncertain time. The best we can do is listen and cooperate. It is no time for being contrary or petulant. The time has come, TT, to just use our COMMON SENSE and do what we need to preserve our health and the health of others.

And finally, to all the doctors, nurses, police officers, fire officers and all other necessary staff on the front line, thank you for all that you are doing and all that you will do.



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