Going Mad in T&T Like Virginia Woolf…

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‘Other than the usual murders and governmental blunders, some truly insane things happened this week’

 

Alicia Chamely
By Alicia Chamely

“DEAREST, I feel certain that I am going mad again,” as written by Virginia Woolf, before walking in the River Ouse with her pockets full of stones.

Like Woolf I too am convinced that my sanity is rapidly slipping. My madness, not quite the same as Woolf’s, is being bought on by two things.

Firstly, I am trapped at home with two feral children. Despite having an abundance of playthings, these two creatures seem to be perpetually bored. Despite having been fed, they are infinitely hungry, but never for actual food. They spend half the day arguing and the other half complaining.

Surely it is a plot to drive their maternal figure insane as some form of cruel punishment for bringing them into this world without consent and demanding they live by basic codes of human behaviour.

My Dearest, I believe they shall succeed.

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Secondly, in efforts to distract myself from the bedlam of my domestic situation, I poured myself into the news this week with even more vigour than normal.

This was not a wise idea given the fragility of my mental state.

Other than the usual murders and governmental blunders, some truly insane things happened this week.


‘Dude, is talking about AI but our police still taking reports on pen and paper and court cases are still taking decades… if they get to court… because files keep going missing or get misplaced’

Attorney General Reginald Armour, SC, attended a regional workshop on Achieving the Universalization of the Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons. A jolly United Nations get-together that discusses the steps that need to be taken to legislate weapons.

With our murder toll already more than 300 for the year, surely our AG would focus on gun control and weapons smuggling into our borders? Surely, he would seek to amend existing legislation and draft new legislation to allow for the tightening of borders, demanding stronger compliance from Customs and Excise, and adding stricter regulations to the importation of ammo and guns?

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Nah, he’s drafting legislation to protect us from KILLER ROBOTS!

Bruh! I understand weapons with integrated Artificial Intelligence is a scary thing, especially if you are living in one of those war-mongering countries… speaking of which China is accusing the US of militarising space… but we haven’t reach there yet.

I am all for being proactive, but this is just taking it too far. Let’s focus on the current issues and get the basics under control before we throw our hats into the war against the rise of the machines.

Dude, is talking about AI but our police still taking reports on pen and paper and court cases are still taking decades… if they get to court… because files keep going missing or get misplaced.

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While I am not one for conspiracies it would not surprise me if you told me the AG is a hologram controlled by a goblin who lives in a secret chamber under Government Plaza. This goblin’s whole purpose is to make no sense and all he does all day is smoke copious amounts of high-grade marijuana.

But, thankfully this is not so. Another fragment of my sanity slides away… toodles!


‘Everyone got really sticky over flour, but forgot that oil has increased, electricity has increased, cooking gas has increased, and while shipping prices have gone down, transportation prices on our island have not’

The Flour Wars broke out this week. Flour prices, which rose due the increased cost of wheat as a result of the Ukrainian/Russian war, were pleasantly reduced. Yay or nay? Well, our Prime Minister Dr Keith Rowley got his knickers in a twist and questioned why doubles vendors and bakers hadn’t reduced their prices… time’s ticking!

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Well, the whole fact he mentioned doubles men, got the usual race cards morons riled up accusing him of targeting East Indian businesses, which ticked off other people who said forget doubles and bakers why haven’t all restaurants, especially KFC reduced their prices… after all its flour they use for their chicken.

Everyone got really sticky over flour, but forgot that oil has increased, electricity has increased, cooking gas has increased, and while shipping prices have gone down, transportation prices on our island have not.

Bickering over flour was a great way to deduce who understood economics. It was concerning our PM sought to make knee-jerk, non-thought-out statements. Perhaps it was a great way to distract us from everything else burning down around us.

Adios mental stability!

And sadly was the story of Keisha Thompson, who has been waiting over a year to collect the body of her deceased son Alwin Keswin Thompson.

The reason for the delay, as explained to Thompson, was samples had to be sent abroad for DNA testing to confirm his identity. Over a year later, even though his identity was confirmed she has yet to receive his body and have a proper burial.

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Maybe if our warrior-against-killer-robots AG and flour sifting PM read this story and came back into orbit to understand what their citizens were going through, they could use all that energy to create legislative and infrastructural measures for a nation biometric fingerprint database and DNA bank.

Maybe they would work to reduce the bureaucracy that is facing Ms Thompson and others like her. It should not take that long to identify and release a body.

Maybe they can tuck away the crazy for a bit and help our nation rebuild its sanity.

As sung by Alicia Chamely:

Going to St Ann’s, it’s gonna be a fun, fun time!

Cause everybody in Trini land has lost their God damn mind!

So, there we have it. A straight jacket’s worth of lunacy. I choose to look at it with a splash of humour, otherwise it’s me, pockets full of gravel and the Caroni River.

Keep sane T&T, until next week.

 

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