Hey! Do you want a position of power, but not too much power?
Do you want to be able to freely ridicule the government under the guise of parliamentary privilege, while protecting your nation against their “sinister” plans?
If so, then being the Opposition Leader of TT is just right for you!
To help you on your journey as Opposition Leader, I have compiled the following guide based on the actions of opposition leaders past, present and what surely will be the future.
By following each step you shall surely excel at being the Opposition Leader our country continuously tolerates. Enjoy!
- Be Salty
If you aren’t sure what salty means, let me break it down for you. You are mad as hell, your resentment is bubbling over and you aren’t afraid to show it.
Remind people again and again that any hardships they are facing under the current regime would not be happening had they voted for you.
Make them feel incredibly bad for not voting for you. Show them you care, you are all loving, you would have made their lives so much better, but sadly they made a poor choice and while you forgive, you will never forget.
- You had Every Idea First
The government comes up with a plan to build a new hospital or pave a road? It was your idea first!
Only you were going to do it better, faster and on a smaller budget. Accuse the government of being “bankrupt of new ideas” and insist on anything they do as a cheap election ploy.
- Accuse them of Being the Most Corrupt
Accuse the government of corruption continuously, even if you may or may not be guilty of some shady dealings yourself. Nothing gets the general public angrier than the “C” word.
It’s a fabulous way of making yourself and your loyalists believe that in a broken system you are a shining pillar of integrity.
- Disagree with Every Piece of Legislation
Listen, you put your country and citizens first, but this government is trying to steal their right to a good life with all these bills and amendments.
It’s your duty to strike them down and if you can’t strike them down, ensure you put enough doubt into the minds of your party members and fringe voters that they start a massive outside movement against whatever is being proposed.
However, in cases where you support pieces of legislation or an amendment DO NOT OUTWARDLY SHOW IT! Find a few trivial points to dislike and on the day of voting simply do not show up.
But, if you do show up and do not stage a walkout, just abstain from voting.
5.Remind the Public of the Good Times
Remember when your party was in power and people were living good… well in your opinion. In your mind, life was just cake when you were in charge and NEVER EVER forget to mention that.
If this current government has to introduce a tax or financial regulation to prevent the country from going bankrupt, take the opportunity to remind the populace that under your rule there were no taxes and regulations and the country’s finances were fine and dandy.
6. Come up with all Kinds of Wild Ideas
By nature Trinbagonians are fickle with short memories, use this as an advantage.
Around your second year in office, begin coming up with mind-blowing, fantastic ideas, that aren’t really feasible, but sound way better than what the government is coming up with.
Tell everyone you would fully subsidise fuel again and when a negative Nancy askes you how you plan to achieve this, throw some big figures and complicated mathematical equations their way. Remember never give a straight answer.
You see these wild ideas act as seeds that you are slowly planting into the minds of the population. Granted you know you can’t actually pull these things off, so as you draw closer to elections ease up on the crazy ideas and only stick to the ones you are sure will win you votes, but will also be forgotten rather quickly.
So there you have it.
Whether you wear red, yellow, orange, green or blue, being the Opposition Leader is a position you can win at!
Never let anyone discourage you from your dream of being the watchdog of our democracy, a beacon of hope and change, without all the hassles of being a prime minister. In this case, second place is truly best.