Parenting: Not Giving My Son Dry Shoes, Socks

 

‘Classified biologically, yes, I am an animal, but I am also a parent who understands you cannot wipe your child’s butt forever and bending backwards to clean up their messes isn’t doing them any favours.’

 

AT 8.14 am on Thursday, my five-year-old son’s teacher called.

Being called by your child’s teacher at any time of the day is nerve-racking, but homeboy had been in school for an hour at most and had somehow gotten himself into a bind.

Turns out captain genius decided to do some puddle jumping and arrived in his classroom with soaking socks and shoes. At the time of the call, he was barefooted and his socks were being hung on a fan to dry.

I was asked (for liability’s sake I am certain) if I would like to drop off some dry shoes and socks for him.

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‘He’s exploring his world, testing the boundaries and… being a child’

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Erm no… you play stupid games; you win stupid prizes and you are never too young to learn this valuable lesson.

So Aqua Toes Chamely spent most of the day with cold, bare feet because little bredren needs to learn if you make a mess of things your mother is not driving half an hour in the rain to save you from your self-inflicted discomfort.

I know somewhere there is a gentle softhearted parent grasping at their pearls of perfection and thinking, “Alicia, you’re an animal!”

Classified biologically, yes, I am an animal, but I am also a parent who understands you cannot wipe your child’s butt forever and bending backwards to clean up their messes isn’t doing them any favours.

Was I concerned about my son’s well being? Absolutely! Did I feel pangs of guilt that his smelly little toes would be chilly and bare in class? Yes, I was.

I have a heart, Janice, I am not a complete beast.

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‘And they need to learn that mummy and daddy won’t be there with dryer fresh socks’

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But my son is a limit tester, he is a “burn to learn” type individual, who pays little heed to warnings. Naturally, he finds himself in trouble on occasion. He’s not a badly behaved child, but he is like a wild bronco that you must break. He’s exploring his world, testing the boundaries and… being a child.

And children need to learn that their actions have consequences. They need to learn it’s totally fine to jump in rain puddles in footwear or barefooted, when they are at home or somewhere else that encourages that sort of play. They need to learn it’s NOT fine to do it in school, in their school shoes. And they need to learn that mummy and daddy won’t be there with dryer fresh socks.

My reasoning is this, yes, a pair of dry shoes probably will not turn my son into an entitled, thoughtless little monster, but it will on a subliminal level let him think that his actions at school were appropriate and when his actions lead to discomfort someone will magically appear and fix the problem.

This week a child in Tobago threatened to shoot up his school. You need not wonder why that child thought that was a totally appropriate threat to make. His mother was very vocal in stating her son was a “good child”, “he was just frustrated” and so on. It was apparent that this child’s parent may be making for his behaviour. And guess what? If you don’t teach children that there are consequences for their actions, their actions get more and more unregulated and extreme.

Again, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.

I don’t know man, being a parent is hard. Very rarely do I feel as though I am doing a good job. But I was proud of myself on Thursday, I was proud I stood my ground and I was super proud that when my son got into the car after school and admitted he had done a silly thing. He may not have admitted that, had I bought him some dry shoes… so guilt alleviated… he learned his lesson.

Thinking about it, I am pretty sure a lot of mothers of our members of the government bought them dry socks and made excuses.

So, I guess with that in mind, I’ll keep up the good fight. My kids will be okay… I hope.