This is the second of two fictional interviews, the first with the prime minister was published on Saturday and there is a link below so click on it and feel free to share these stories too.
Leader of the Opposition, Kamille Pamela Bissoon
Me: Good day Mrs…
KPB: I said “BLANK”!!
KPB: I just wanted to get that out of the way. Hello darling, thank you so much for having me. It’s a pleasure to meet with the average citizen and just chit chat. Because you know I care so deeply about the people of this country. Some nights I just look to the sky, find the most special star and wish for nothing but happiness for the people of my sweet, beautiful TT.
Me: Well hopefully those wishes come true. You’ve always had a very gentle approach to dealing with national issues and with the people. Where does that softness come from?
KPB: Ahhh, you see I am a mother. Not just to my children, but a mother to all members of my constituency and by extension the nay-shone. It is my natural instinct to nuture and love.
Me: Being a mother myself, I know it can get exhausting and sometimes you just snap. Does Kamille Pamela Bissoon ever just snap?
KPB: Oh no. Not me. When I feel overwhelmed I just look to the rising the sunshine and watch the morning flowers bloom around me. You see, I feel for our people. I understand their struggles and all I want for them is happiness and peace. With all this love in my heart, it’s impossible to…what did you say…snap?
Me: Bless you. Sometimes I think I am just gonna lose it. I often day dream about jumping in my car, speeding to the airport, buying the first ticket available and getting the hell of dodge. Hahaha.
KPB: (A single tear falls from her smiling face)
Me: Mrs Bissoon are you okay?
KPB: You know… I erm…I…I am fed of up of this Mother of the Nay-shun garbage! I was the first female Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago, I was in Glamour magazine, I fought tooth and nail to get where I am today, I shattered the glass ceiling for all women in Trinbagonian politics!
Me: Damn girl
KPB: And still! After all of that! All of my accomplishments! People still expect me to be all sweet as pie! Kind and full of sugar! Well let me tell you, come August 10th if I am voted back into office, no more Mrs Sunshine. No way! Hard as nails viper coming out! (Breathes deeply) But then again, I do so enjoy spreading love and kindness.
Me: Yeah I knew you would snap
KPB: All mothers snap my dear, but that doesn’t change the deep unconditional love we have for our families. Anyway don’t mind my silly little rant. I must run though, I’m kissing babies at San Fernando General Hospital in hour. Again lovely meeting you, bye darling.
After the interviews I could not help but feel a little sad. Sad because running our nation, fitting into the mold of what people believe a prime minister should be, had driven two accomplished people partially insane. Then again you must be a little a mad in the first place to go into politics.
Disclaimer: The above interview is purely fictional. One name has been changed to protect the author from party diehards who fail to understand satire and have no sense of humour.
See Alicia Chamely’s fictional interview with the prime minister below: