‘…it is perhaps one of the most valuable life lessons I have mastered in my ripe middle-ish age of 36 is if you focus on all the things you could have done, you lose sight of all the things you can do.’
By Alicia Chamely
FOR most people their scary birthdays are the decades, 30, 40, 50, 60 and so on. For me it was 36.
I am not sure why, but growing up I always thought by 36 I would have had life mostly figured out.
Man, at 36 I would have life in order. I would just be as settled as dust and as chill as cucumber on an iceberg in the Artic.
At 36, I would have overcome my habitual procrastination, I would have conquered my occasional social anxiety, I would be self-confident as hell and have an awesome haircut. Ha! Ha! Ha! Alicia you naïve fool.
I turned 36 this week and oh boy I did not live up to my expectations.
On the bright side I do have an awesome haircut but, I also have a rapidly graying head of hair that still requires an industrial amount of anti-frizz to look descent.
Despite being rather content with what I think is a pretty awesome life, I am still plagued by almost adolescent like self-doubt.
I question whether I am enough, whether I have done enough. Did I make the right education choices, take the right career path, maybe I should have worked harder, studied more, exercised more regularly and drank more water. Should I have had a third child, should I have kept working, should I have travelled more?
Mehhhhh, honestly no matter how together my life may get, I don’t think I will ever stop “what if” questioning. And that’s okay. That’s just being human and by nature we are imperfect.
However, I have learned not to let it consume me. Because it is perhaps one of the most valuable life lessons I have mastered in my ripe middle-ish age of 36 is if you focus on all the things you could have done, you lose sight of all the things you can do.
And at 36 I can do anything I… want, cause I am an adult!
At 36, while I may not have every part of it all figured out or together, I have the tiny bit of wisdom to understand life is ever changing and I have the power to decide how I am going to handle those changes.
Thirty-six may not seem old enough to have a “meaning of life” reckoning, but trust me I’ve seen some things. On the inside I am 86, all wrinkles and osteoporosis.
Regardless we move forward, we pave the way we wish to travel.
I am currently in process of teaching my terrifyingly stubborn daughter to ride her bike without training wheels. It’s not going to so well, the child has zero balance and a penchant for rage induced melt downs. She’s a perfectionist and does not handle not being able to instantly master a task very well.
After a particularly difficult lesson on Thursday, where she fell and may or may not have bruised some ribs, the little one attempted to throw her bike across the road and swore riding off.
Life lesson time, little girl.
Calmly and at a safe distance I explained that in life you will fall, you fall from small heights and great heights, you may have not a scratch or you may be left all bloody, bashed and bruised. But no matter how hard it may be to move, no matter how much it hurts, you have to get up.
You cannot lie in a pool of blood and fear forever, you have to get back up and back into the saddle. You have to keep moving. With every fall you will get stronger, you will get smarter, you will get more confident and you will never realise that if you give up. So dust yourself off and get pedaling, you warrior!
I am pretty sure this all went over her head, but she’ll eventually get it.
At 36, I’ve fallen, I’ve gotten back up. I have the scars and stiff shoulders to prove it. I don’t have it all figured out, but I have a fairly good idea where I am and where I want to go.
Truthfully, I am happy with the person I am. Sure I am a little rough around the edges, but those imperfections are what makes me, me and I am okay with it.
I guess 36 is not as terrifying as I thought it would be, frankly right now my 7 year old is the scariest thing in my life right now.
So onwards I go, imperfect, slightly scattered, witty as hell and shamelessly eating cake for breakfast.
My Scary Birthday was 36th
‘…it is perhaps one of the most valuable life lessons I have mastered in my ripe middle-ish age of 36 is if you focus on all the things you could have done, you lose sight of all the things you can do.’
FOR most people their scary birthdays are the decades, 30, 40, 50, 60 and so on. For me it was 36.
I am not sure why, but growing up I always thought by 36 I would have had life mostly figured out.
Man, at 36 I would have life in order. I would just be as settled as dust and as chill as cucumber on an iceberg in the Artic.
At 36, I would have overcome my habitual procrastination, I would have conquered my occasional social anxiety, I would be self-confident as hell and have an awesome haircut. Ha! Ha! Ha! Alicia you naïve fool.
I turned 36 this week and oh boy I did not live up to my expectations.
On the bright side I do have an awesome haircut but, I also have a rapidly graying head of hair that still requires an industrial amount of anti-frizz to look descent.
Despite being rather content with what I think is a pretty awesome life, I am still plagued by almost adolescent like self-doubt.
I question whether I am enough, whether I have done enough. Did I make the right education choices, take the right career path, maybe I should have worked harder, studied more, exercised more regularly and drank more water. Should I have had a third child, should I have kept working, should I have travelled more?
Mehhhhh, honestly no matter how together my life may get, I don’t think I will ever stop “what if” questioning. And that’s okay. That’s just being human and by nature we are imperfect.
However, I have learned not to let it consume me. Because it is perhaps one of the most valuable life lessons I have mastered in my ripe middle-ish age of 36 is if you focus on all the things you could have done, you lose sight of all the things you can do.
And at 36 I can do anything I… want, cause I am an adult!
At 36, while I may not have every part of it all figured out or together, I have the tiny bit of wisdom to understand life is ever changing and I have the power to decide how I am going to handle those changes.
Thirty-six may not seem old enough to have a “meaning of life” reckoning, but trust me I’ve seen some things. On the inside I am 86, all wrinkles and osteoporosis.
Regardless we move forward, we pave the way we wish to travel.
I am currently in process of teaching my terrifyingly stubborn daughter to ride her bike without training wheels. It’s not going to so well, the child has zero balance and a penchant for rage induced melt downs. She’s a perfectionist and does not handle not being able to instantly master a task very well.
After a particularly difficult lesson on Thursday, where she fell and may or may not have bruised some ribs, the little one attempted to throw her bike across the road and swore riding off.
Life lesson time, little girl.
Calmly and at a safe distance I explained that in life you will fall, you fall from small heights and great heights, you may have not a scratch or you may be left all bloody, bashed and bruised. But no matter how hard it may be to move, no matter how much it hurts, you have to get up.
You cannot lie in a pool of blood and fear forever, you have to get back up and back into the saddle. You have to keep moving. With every fall you will get stronger, you will get smarter, you will get more confident and you will never realise that if you give up. So dust yourself off and get pedaling, you warrior!
I am pretty sure this all went over her head, but she’ll eventually get it.
At 36, I’ve fallen, I’ve gotten back up. I have the scars and stiff shoulders to prove it. I don’t have it all figured out, but I have a fairly good idea where I am and where I want to go.
Truthfully, I am happy with the person I am. Sure I am a little rough around the edges, but those imperfections are what makes me, me and I am okay with it.
I guess 36 is not as terrifying as I thought it would be, frankly right now my 7 year old is the scariest thing in my life right now.
So onwards I go, imperfect, slightly scattered, witty as hell and shamelessly eating cake for breakfast.