MY column this week will be short and sweet. Not because I could not find anything to develop a strong opinion about (there is a lot that transpired this past week for which I have many strong opinions), but due to some unfortunate events – the Vid got me… again.
As you may recall, last year for Mother’s Day my husband gifted me with Covid and the two of us suffered for two splendid weeks together.
This time, however, the Vid got all of us, myself, my husband, my two children and possibly my intellectually-challenged sausage dog, Douglas.
It is fun times over in the Chamely household at the moment.
How did we end up in this mess? I would love to say we went unmasked to sweaty fete, but truthfully, we got it from a family member who had travelled. We had not seen this family member in two years and love makes you drop your guard and ignore warning signs, so what can I say.
Luckily whatever strain of the ever-ominous Covid-19 we have contracted, it is considerably less rough that the one we got last year.
It’s 24 hours of feeling like total crap, followed by a couple of days of run-down-ness, which is way better than being completely bedridden with an oximeter on your finger for a week.
That day of feeling bad though, it’s bad. My dreadful day was Wednesday and here is how it felt…
Imagine if someone came along and lit you on fire. Then they threw you down a very steep, sharply angled flight of stairs. As you come tumbling down the stairs you can feel your muscles tear, ribs cracking, limbs snapping and vertebrae shattering, all while roasting alive. But it gets better! Because when you finally get to the bottom of the stairs you find yourself in a pit of angry fire ants who haven’t eaten for a while and are craving barbeque. Congrats you’re a snack!
Fun times, fun times.
But, hey, it’s better than days of roasting fever and gasping for breath.
One symptom I didn’t foresee, is resentment. In my case resentment of my six-year-old son, who tested positive but is completely symptom-free. This dude, who lives on cereal, bread, cheese and olives, has somehow won the Covid game. I am convinced he has the immune system of a pothound, developed over years of putting gross and random things in his mouth.
So, while his family is walking around half dead, homeboy is living his best life and continuously reminding everyone about how great he feels. Bad move, kid, horrid move, but I love you nonetheless.
Anyway, to wrap it up, I have decided to capitalise on this bout of Covid, cause times are tough and hustlers gotta hustle. So here’s my proposal:
Are you one of the cautious who is yet to catch Covid? Are you tired of living in fear and wish you could just get it already?
Well here is your opportunity to catch Covid on your terms!
For $50, I will cough directly into your face
For $100 I will supply you with an extra moist used nasal swab. Simply swish around in your own nostrils and woosh Covid!
Now, would you just like to avoid work and/or people for a blissful ten, but don’t actually want to have Covid? For $150 I will provide you with a positive Covid home test, giving you the peace and quiet you crave without the cough, body pains and fever.
Act now! Because come Monday I cannot guarantee I will have the viral load or positive status needed to fulfil your Covid dreams!
Get vaxed, keep masked, and stay safe my friends!
(Editor’s note: It should be stated that Alicia’s column this week came in yesterday just before it was revealed that Prime Minister Dr Keith Rowley has once again contracted Covid-19. That is why no mention was made of it. Get well Alicia!)
I Got Covid Again
MY column this week will be short and sweet. Not because I could not find anything to develop a strong opinion about (there is a lot that transpired this past week for which I have many strong opinions), but due to some unfortunate events – the Vid got me… again.
As you may recall, last year for Mother’s Day my husband gifted me with Covid and the two of us suffered for two splendid weeks together.
This time, however, the Vid got all of us, myself, my husband, my two children and possibly my intellectually-challenged sausage dog, Douglas.
It is fun times over in the Chamely household at the moment.
How did we end up in this mess? I would love to say we went unmasked to sweaty fete, but truthfully, we got it from a family member who had travelled. We had not seen this family member in two years and love makes you drop your guard and ignore warning signs, so what can I say.
Luckily whatever strain of the ever-ominous Covid-19 we have contracted, it is considerably less rough that the one we got last year.
It’s 24 hours of feeling like total crap, followed by a couple of days of run-down-ness, which is way better than being completely bedridden with an oximeter on your finger for a week.
That day of feeling bad though, it’s bad. My dreadful day was Wednesday and here is how it felt…
Imagine if someone came along and lit you on fire. Then they threw you down a very steep, sharply angled flight of stairs. As you come tumbling down the stairs you can feel your muscles tear, ribs cracking, limbs snapping and vertebrae shattering, all while roasting alive. But it gets better! Because when you finally get to the bottom of the stairs you find yourself in a pit of angry fire ants who haven’t eaten for a while and are craving barbeque. Congrats you’re a snack!
Fun times, fun times.
But, hey, it’s better than days of roasting fever and gasping for breath.
One symptom I didn’t foresee, is resentment. In my case resentment of my six-year-old son, who tested positive but is completely symptom-free. This dude, who lives on cereal, bread, cheese and olives, has somehow won the Covid game. I am convinced he has the immune system of a pothound, developed over years of putting gross and random things in his mouth.
So, while his family is walking around half dead, homeboy is living his best life and continuously reminding everyone about how great he feels. Bad move, kid, horrid move, but I love you nonetheless.
Anyway, to wrap it up, I have decided to capitalise on this bout of Covid, cause times are tough and hustlers gotta hustle. So here’s my proposal:
Are you one of the cautious who is yet to catch Covid? Are you tired of living in fear and wish you could just get it already?
Well here is your opportunity to catch Covid on your terms!
For $50, I will cough directly into your face
For $100 I will supply you with an extra moist used nasal swab. Simply swish around in your own nostrils and woosh Covid!
Now, would you just like to avoid work and/or people for a blissful ten, but don’t actually want to have Covid? For $150 I will provide you with a positive Covid home test, giving you the peace and quiet you crave without the cough, body pains and fever.
Act now! Because come Monday I cannot guarantee I will have the viral load or positive status needed to fulfil your Covid dreams!
Get vaxed, keep masked, and stay safe my friends!
(Editor’s note: It should be stated that Alicia’s column this week came in yesterday just before it was revealed that Prime Minister Dr Keith Rowley has once again contracted Covid-19. That is why no mention was made of it. Get well Alicia!)