OH my, 2021 is over and it was a doozy! There seems to be a general consensus that 2022 is going to be a tumultuous one. It, therefore, seems fitting to share with our valuable readers a strategy I find quite effective at de-escalating disputes involving face-offs that may occur during the course of this new year.
This strategy works best with disputes involving people such as neighbours, non-immediate relatives and for land disputes etc. I don’t recommend this for marital disputes.
There are 3 pre-conditions for this strategy to work, though. They are:
You must genuinely want to deescalate the dispute. I’m not talking about the type of behaviour you see in the first five minutes of Maury where both sides rant and rave forever with no resolution in the cards. You must make a decision that you want to dispute to stop and act towards that goal.
You must assess the situation and determine that the other party does not have the mental capacity to understand a different point of view and that arguing with them is a complete waste of mental energy and time. If you argue with idiots and ignoramuses, you will never win.
You must be prepared to exercise a high degree of self-control in the face of what will likely be a short but intense period of escalating taunts, insults, foul language and the like.
There is also a caveat… if at any time you sense you are in immediate danger or the situation is volatile, you should not hesitate to get help. That usually translates into calling the police at its 999 emergency number.
What’s the strategy?
Firstly, when the other party confronts you and starts throwing words, comments, taunts etc., at you – do not respond. You stay completely silent. If you can also manage this: stay completely expressionless (icing on the cake, really). Next, you pull out your cellphone and record them. For this to work, you must be in a position of safety (e.g., you being within your secured premises, the other party is on the road and a real threat of physical confrontational being slim or non-existent). It is absolutely crucial that while you are recording the other side, you say and do nothing in response to the other party.
Typically, the other party initially heightens their confrontation when they see that they are being recorded, but then they rapidly fizzle out and walk away (which is what you want). This happens because they feel exposed by the recording taking place and frustrated that they were not able to provoke you in the way that they wanted. They wanted a confrontation and they did not get it. With the recording taking place, they feel the need to escape quite quickly. When they know that this strategy will be used over and over again, it is quite possible the confrontations will stop altogether.
This strategy is based on my personal experience and I am quite astounded at how effective it has proven. Its efficacy seems to be in its simplicity and sometimes just walking away doesn’t work. At the same time, I strongly recommend always seeking the advice or assistance of professionals such as lawyers trained in mediation, compromise and conflict resolution. Their training allows them to deal with disputes in a less adversarial manner, that is results oriented and more in keeping with the modern age of addressing conflict. They are experts at getting to the root of the conflict and trying to resolve them.
Wishing all AZPNews.com readers a wonderful, prosperous and blessed New Year! Be safe!
Disclaimer:The contents of this article are for general informative purposes only and/or contain the opinions and/or thoughts of the writer only. It does not provide legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with any reader. For legal advice on your specific situation, please contact an Attorney-at-Law of your choosing directly. Liability for any loss or damage of any kind whatsoever allegedly incurred a consequence of relying on content in this article is thus hereby excluded to the fullest extent permitted by law.
How to Abate Disputes in 2022
OH my, 2021 is over and it was a doozy! There seems to be a general consensus that 2022 is going to be a tumultuous one. It, therefore, seems fitting to share with our valuable readers a strategy I find quite effective at de-escalating disputes involving face-offs that may occur during the course of this new year.
This strategy works best with disputes involving people such as neighbours, non-immediate relatives and for land disputes etc. I don’t recommend this for marital disputes.
There are 3 pre-conditions for this strategy to work, though. They are:
There is also a caveat… if at any time you sense you are in immediate danger or the situation is volatile, you should not hesitate to get help. That usually translates into calling the police at its 999 emergency number.
What’s the strategy?
Firstly, when the other party confronts you and starts throwing words, comments, taunts etc., at you – do not respond. You stay completely silent. If you can also manage this: stay completely expressionless (icing on the cake, really). Next, you pull out your cellphone and record them. For this to work, you must be in a position of safety (e.g., you being within your secured premises, the other party is on the road and a real threat of physical confrontational being slim or non-existent). It is absolutely crucial that while you are recording the other side, you say and do nothing in response to the other party.
Typically, the other party initially heightens their confrontation when they see that they are being recorded, but then they rapidly fizzle out and walk away (which is what you want). This happens because they feel exposed by the recording taking place and frustrated that they were not able to provoke you in the way that they wanted. They wanted a confrontation and they did not get it. With the recording taking place, they feel the need to escape quite quickly. When they know that this strategy will be used over and over again, it is quite possible the confrontations will stop altogether.
This strategy is based on my personal experience and I am quite astounded at how effective it has proven. Its efficacy seems to be in its simplicity and sometimes just walking away doesn’t work. At the same time, I strongly recommend always seeking the advice or assistance of professionals such as lawyers trained in mediation, compromise and conflict resolution. Their training allows them to deal with disputes in a less adversarial manner, that is results oriented and more in keeping with the modern age of addressing conflict. They are experts at getting to the root of the conflict and trying to resolve them.
Wishing all AZPNews.com readers a wonderful, prosperous and blessed New Year! Be safe!
Copyright © 2022 Neela Ramsundar, LL.B (HONS), L.E.C is a Civil Litigation Attorney at Law & Certified Mediator.
Disclaimer: The contents of this article are for general informative purposes only and/or contain the opinions and/or thoughts of the writer only. It does not provide legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with any reader. For legal advice on your specific situation, please contact an Attorney-at-Law of your choosing directly. Liability for any loss or damage of any kind whatsoever allegedly incurred a consequence of relying on content in this article is thus hereby excluded to the fullest extent permitted by law.