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AZP News Commentary

By Alicia Chamely

HELLO there. Are you a responsible adult, currently on the fence as to whether you should procreate? 

Well, you are in luck, because I am here to answer that question for you! 

Children… don’t do it, and if your loins/ovaries fail to heed this warning, then I urge you to proceed with extreme caution. 

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You see, raising a child… let me clarify… raising decent child, whom you hope will grow into a decent adult, is not for the faint of heart. 

Often you will find yourself torn between bursting at the seems with love and wonder for this little creature you made and at other times plotting to change your identity, pack your bags, and start a new life on the other side of the world just to escape the monster that emerged from you or your loins

All you can do is have patience (a monumental amount of patience) and continue to guide and listen to your children. 

An unfortunate part of raising children is coming to terms with the fact that at a certain age you begin to lose a certain degree of influence upon your children.

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Studies in the psychology and neuro development of children have shown that between the ages of seven and eight, a child’s behaviour begins to be influenced by other outside sources and their need to feel accepted by their peers.

I’ve been through it with one and am going through with another and it sucks – this adjustment period.

As they grow their need for acceptance by their peers intensifies and that is when the real nightmare begins, because this is when they are willing to do silly  things to fit in or establish their independence.

While I do not have a teenager as yet, I was a teenager, and I was at times a nightmare. I can clearly remember doing things I knew wasn’t in line with how I was raised, and I knew weren’t the right things to do…but also thinking, “You only live once, literally almost an adult! I’m a rebel. Holla!” (I didn’t speak like that, but teenagers are dumb, so I can only assume some ridiculous version of that was playing my barely developed mind).

I will credit my parents, because when I did step out of line, I was held accountable, and they were beasts when they were ready. Obviously, it worked, because the only person I am a menace to now is my husband. 

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Being a parent, I have come to terms with two things:

1. I am not the only one influencing my children anymore. All I can do to ensure they don’t become menaces to society is to be there for them, have open, judgement free conversations with them, continue to teach them right from wrong and, as much as it pains me sometimes, let them feel the consequences of their actions within the home and outside… mum and dad cannot and will not always be able to clean up your messes.

2. Perhaps the hardest realisation is my children are not perfect. They will make mistakes; they will listen to that one idiot friend and mess up. What I can do as a parent is ensure they learn from these mistakes and are held accountable for their actions.

I speak of this because of a news article I read this week. It wasn’t on the front page; it wasn’t a big discussion or cause of outrage. It was about a mother, who was doing her best. 

On Wednesday a mother turned her teenage son over to the Maloney Police Station after she found clothing that did not belong to him in his possession. 

Mother Turns Her Son Over to the Police

The Maloney police stated earlier they received a report of a break-in, where clothing belonging to another teenage boy was stolen. 

Maths was Mathsing, this mother connected the dots and refused to ignore the  clear evidence that her son was a thief. 

https://tatt.org.tt/complaints/

I do not for a second think her decision was an easy one. No one happily turns their child over the law knowing what they will face in our justice system. But I would like to think this mother knew that if she cleaned this mess up, there would soon be bigger issues and bigger messes and she would lose her son. 

She displayed exemplary parenting. What she did was incredibly brave, it was selfless, and it was the right thing to do. 

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It is easy to cast a blind eye to our children’s imperfections and try to shield them and ourselves from the consequences of their behaviour, but at some point, we must realise we are doing more damage than good. By letting our children get away with little things, we are encouraging the escalation of their behaviour.

We can blame all the outside influence we want, because yes, they will be influenced by outsiders, but it is our duty not to hide them from accountability or ignore their wrong doings. 

Yeah…so unless you are willing to become your little crotch goblin’s enemy when they do wrong then maybe save yourself from the stress and invest in some extra thick condoms.

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