Commentary: Election Bell Rings

LORD Faddah!

I am still trying to decipher whether this past week was a reality or some sort of fever dream brought on by my increased need for psychiatric treatment.

It all started with our new Prime Minister Stuart Young. Young, now the head of the show, did a little cabinet reshuffle. Most significant was the reassignment and what can be interpreted as the demotion of the now Minister of Public Utilities Colm Imbert and the now Minister in the Office of Prime Minister Fitzgerald Hinds.

Both Imbert and Hinds, previously held what can be seen as “prestigious” ministerial posts. Despite their unpopularity and dismal performances, they seemed untouchable, immovable and unaccountable for their lacklustre performances by the then PM Rowley.

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Their demotions, whether as an act of accountability or a wise public relations move, signalled Young was ready to make difficult changes within the People’s National Movement (PNM) and shift the perceived status quo to get things under control.

Alright, alright, at this point I assumed he’d give his new cabinet a couple of months, let people see the changes, and assess where this is going.

Nah! Ringa-Linga-Ling! Election Bell Ring, United National Congress left scampering!

That’s right folks, the call has been made, and the 2025 General Elections will be held on April 28^th.

Unfortunately, despite continuously calling for an election, the UNC appeared to be caught with their draws down.

At the time of writing this, the PNM has named all of their election candidates and the UNC… well hadn’t. Not only had they not announced their slate, but they find themselves dealing with an exodus of sorts. Every day some member of the party announced their resignation, often citing a breakdown of the party’s original mandate and criticising the leader, who is also facing speculation on her ability to lead based on her current physical health… poor madame is honestly looking a little frail.

But the UNC is never one to back down! So, guns blazing the UNC instantly went into attack mode! Demanding international election observers… because sowing doubt about the electoral process is always a great way to cover your tulkus shouldn’t things go your way. Their demands were quickly met, with representatives from three regional and international bodies coming in to observe the election.

Luckily for them, a social media post appeared. An account of a young man who was ruthlessly bullied by a teenaged Young during his time at St Mary’s College.

You see, Young allegedly made a gentleman named Imran “not the cricket player” Khan’s life a living hell. So, one day Khan, had enough, buss Young’s head and got expelled, while Young faced no consequences for his bullying.

Listen, judging someone on their actions as a neurologically deficient adolescent really isn’t fair. I am sure most of us are completely different people than we were as teenagers. That being said, apologies, even 30-plus years later go a long way and Young was given the opportunity to show his growth.

Young addressed the issue in a sideways manner, not dismissing Khan but also not accepting responsibility. In my opinion it would have gone a long way if he had just said sorry, but me, what do I know.

Instead of this of all this stupidness, you know what I think all parties should be focusing on… the plans they are going to present to our country. Proper plans, not just headlines, I don’t want to hear “increased salaries and better healthcare” I want to hear how you are doing this, where is funding coming from, how the shortfall will be made up, etc.

But nah, “allegations”, insults, doubt, deflections and short-term memories is what is most important here.

So, while the government and the opposition were beating their chests at one another, Kezel Jackson, leader of the All-People’s Party (APP), announced her candidate for San Fernando East, Mizz Real Raw Talk herself Akleeaha Stafford!

Ya’ll no eh. Jackson, former lover of Watson Duke and believer that doubles vendors use “dead water” to keep their customers coming back for more, has recruited social media personality Stafford, known for her unusual methods of keeping her sons safe from paedophiles and super classy nude photos of her and her husband, as a candidate.

Can you imagine those two running our nation! Bahahaha I ded! This really is silly season.

And while it has barely been over a week since the election bell rang, I suspect we are in for a lot more dotish behaviour from all sides.