Caption: Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar with some members of the UNC and its coalition after her swearing in
WELL, hello, hello, my apologies for my absence, but I have a completely legitimate excuse.
About three weeks before the April 28th general elections, my darling, ever-patient editor Prior Beharry… I say patient because when we worked together at the Guardian, he had to deal with my shenanigans daily… begged me to come on as a reporter for AZP News. (Editor’s note: Alicia was the one who begged and pleaded)
Being the good sport that I am… and because I love nothing better… your girl here jumped aboard.
The only time I regretted this decision was when I found myself with my handbag slung around my neck, climbing a 90-degree, 20-foot-high scaffolding ladder to get into the media box at an election rally.
Once I got to the top, it hit me that I would have to go back down. So, I rationed my water, assessed the longevity of my handbag’s jellybean stash and weighed the pros and cons of just living up there.
The last general election I reported on was the highly contested 2010 showdown between the Patrick Manning-led People’s National Movement (PNM) and Kamla Persad-Bissessar’s People’s Partnership (PP), another coalition with the United National Congress (UNC). Maybe, I’m KPB’s lucky charm. More on that later.
The PNM had been in power for nine years, Manning was being seen as an elitist, who had come to disregard the grassroots population, discussed implementing the property tax, worked to establish the Trinidad and Tobago Revenue Authority (TTRA) and built himself a big ole diplomatic centre.
The PP burst onto the scene with the Mother of the Nation leading the way. Persad-Bissessar promised laptops for form one students, to axe the tax, build a children’s hospital, a highway to Point Fortin, give, give, give, for she was love.
With the unions and other political groups on her side, Persad-Bissessar ended Manning’s reign and loved us to death, until 2015 when that love turned toxic.
Do we see a pattern here? The 2025 election was an exact repeat of the 2010 election. This has me thinking that my presence in the media is either a four-leaf clover for the UNC or a hex for the PNM.
Just putting it out there… if either would like to see me again in 2030 or would like me to go on vacation, I’ll merrily take $40,000 to stay or go… highest bidder wins. That figure has to be adjusted for inflation.
Even the campaigns were the same. The UNC targeted the disenchanted youths and those who felt as though they had been forgotten by the government. They engaged in a social media blitz, bringing with them a slew of influencers. Persad-Bissessar came out with her fighting words, she embraced the underdogs and spoke to the people as equals.
The PNM, unfortunately having learnt nothing from 2010, engaged in more traditional, tight-lipped type of campaigning and unfortunately all it did was reconfirm the public’s perception that the PNM had lost its connection to the people of T&T. I mean they threw Stuart Young in as prime minister hoping maybe he would bring some youth to decrepit halls of leadership. Except that Stuart is 50 and people in general didn’t like him. Essentially, he was thrown to the wolves… chomp, chomp, chomp!
I will say this though, the open nastiness spewed online was astounding this year. And I want to make a point, you being an ignorant, nonsensical, biased person online doesn’t make you some great hero to your party of choice. They don’t care.
You may think they just look at the toilet situation at large political rallies.
Supporters are provided with nasty, sun-baked, no toilet paper, porta-potties that make the latrine I had to use on a farm in Cumuto on press tour in 2011 seem like heaven.
The leaders and their VIP friends have those air-conditioned, flushing, comfortable luxury portable bathrooms with a lovely lady who comes to clean up every five minutes.
So while you are giving all your support, being a total fool online, putting all your hopes and dreams in your parties’ baskets, just remember you will find yourself squatting over a filthy toilet seat, drip drying, in a sweat box porta potty and those politicians who claim they love you are wee-weeing in cool comfort, wiping with pillowy toilet paper and washing their hands with French lavender soap.
Trust me I know this, I get into places I don’t belong and if I see a bathroom that looks like it won’t give me ringworm on my butt cheeks, no gate, guard or fence will keep me out.
