IN 2012, the United Nations officially declared September 5th as the International Day of Charity.

Charity has always been part of human society. Every culture and tradition celebrates the act of giving.

It appears in the form of alms in religious practices, food distribution in communities, and philanthropy at an institutional level. Yet, in today’s world, charity is not always straightforward.

It can be misused—sometimes from the side of the giver, and at other times from the receiver.

This raises the important question of how we distinguish genuine charity, which advances human development, from narrow self-interest or dependency.

A personal experience

A few years ago, I was approached by a lady with two young children. Her husband worked as a landscaper but did not have full-time employment. She requested help to continue her enterprise of a roadside vegetable stall. She explained that it was failing because she lacked a scale to weigh the vegetables and a tent that would allow her to work longer hours in the sun or rain. I appreciated her self-help spirit and, after confirming her husband’s support, gave her the money to purchase the required equipment.

At first, the plan seemed promising. Yet in short order, she revealed new issues. There was an old bill from her vegetable supplier that needed to be settled. Then she required capital to purchase produce from another supplier. Not long after, a further request: the tent was ‘damaged’. Finally, a call for help to pay a priest to perform a religious prayer at her home.

Gradually, I began to feel I was being taken for a patsy. What had begun as support for an initiative now felt like a string of endless requests. I eventually broke off the engagement, but the experience forced me to rethink the meaning of charity.

The spirit behind charity

Charity is rooted in recognition of our shared humanity. It couldn’t be merely about giving and receiving material things. Charity should empower, enabling others to live with independence and self-respect. It provides a platform for someone to advance toward their own goals, rather than being tied to the will or the resources of another.

By contrast, we could think of transactional charity as giving with an agenda. A person may give but expect loyalty, public recognition, or influence in return. The material outcome might look identical—money changes hands, food is provided—but the spirit is fundamentally different. Genuine charity uplifts both the giver and the receiver, whereas transactional charity satisfies one side at the expense of the other.

The trap of transactional giving

Modern society often confuses charity with performance. Large donations are tied to media announcements, businesses promote their giving as part of brand-building, and individuals sometimes give to enhance their own reputation. While these acts benefit people in need, they risk reinforcing social hierarchies and creating dependence. Those receiving support may come to see charity as an entitlement, while givers view generosity as a stage for self-promotion.

This imbalance undermines the dignity that true charity is meant to foster. When giving is turned into advertising, its transformative power is diminished. Charity becomes less about solidarity and more about spectacle. It loses the quiet beauty of being a social bridge.

Charity as inner growth

Spiritual traditions across the world emphasise that charity should not only benefit the receiver but also reform the giver. To give sincerely reduces the ego, softens greed, and deepens compassion. It reminds us that resources—whether money, time, or skills—are not possessions to be hoarded but gifts entrusted to us for the benefit of the wider community.

When recipients use what they receive conscientiously, gratitude is nurtured, which in turn, reinforces the cycle of generosity. Observers, too are inspired when they witness authentic giving, creating ripples of kindness that can radiate across a community. In this way, sincere charity nourishes everyone involved—the giver, the receiver, and the silent onlooker.

Charity begins at home

This is a well-known saying.  While it often refers to caring for family first, it can also be understood in a deeper sense. Before we can genuinely help others, we must maintain integrity in our own daily lives. If we allow ourselves to slip into dishonesty, corruption, or selfishness, then our outward acts of giving becomes transactional. True charity arises from inner stability, ethical conduct, and a deep appreciation of our fellow companions. In this sense, charity is not simply about what we hand over to another, but more about the kind of people we strive to become.

A call for commitment

Dropping a coin in a box may provide momentary relief, but real charity often involves walking with people on their journey, nurturing and sometimes even challenging them to rise beyond dependency. It demands patience and a willingness to see human beings as individuals with nobility and potential, not just projects to fix.

When practised with this spirit, charity becomes a force for social transformation. It strengthens communities, builds trust and creates hope. Most importantly, it restores the fundamental truth that we are all connected, a concept expressed in the Ubuntu phrase “I am because we are.”