‘The bar, my love, will always move. The ceiling will always seem further away. But never stop fighting. Never stop climbing’
By Alicia Chamely
MY bright-eyed girl.
The moment you were born and placed in my arms, I felt scared. I was scared for you.
The world is an unfair place and for a woman, it can be especially cruel.
My dear-hearted girl, you will have to fight harder, speak louder, be smarter, be braver, be harder and stand taller to make it.
You will be told you can have it all, and then be ruthlessly torn apart when you do.
You will be told to smile more and wear makeup but not too much. Be tough but not too tough, women should be soft and motherly. Be assertive but not too assertive as you don’t want to be seen as a witch.
‘Four years of full contact rugby and I had two healthy pregnancies… my uterus is fine, my shoulders not so much’
The bar, my love, will always move. The ceiling will always seem further away. But never stop fighting. Never stop climbing.
Unfortunately, people will hold you back or block you, because they think you need protection, shielding from harm or stress. Show them you are strong, let them know you can take a hit and get back up.
On a side note, never let anyone tell you playing contact sports will “break your baby-making bits.” Four years of full contact rugby and I had two healthy pregnancies… my uterus is fine, my shoulders not so much.
Do not let anyone dictate what you can or cannot do. Do not ever let anyone make you feel as though you are unable to do something or excel at something because you are a girl. Do not ever let anyone make you feel small, let them feel your presence, make yourself seen and heard.
So much will be expected from you, from so many different people and parts of society. But know this, all that I expect from you is that you be happy, that you forge your own way in life.
My love, I need you to remember this, while you may find life as a woman difficult to navigate, your road will be easier than a lot of other women. Never forget that in life you have been granted privileges that many other women have not.
Use this knowledge and what you have been given to help others. Help lift other women, recognise their struggles and use what you have to make their paths easier.
In times of weakness, remember the women you came from. Your paternal great grandmothers who came to Trinidad from the Middle East not knowing the language or culture but were determined to build a better life for themselves and their families.
Your maternal great-grandmothers, who came from Jamaica and the UK, followed their hearts and created new lives in a new land. Your great-great grandmother, who escaped Cuba and went on to build a successful business in Jamaica while raising four young children on her own.
You come from a strong line of women.
My darling, life as a woman is a complicated one. It is equally beautiful and frustrating. You will always find yourself walking a fine line, and if you are as much like your mother as I suspect, you will enjoy crossing that line. Embrace your womanhood, never make it a burden, but rather a source of inspiration to challenge stereotypes and change attitudes. Enjoy your femininity and find your freedom within it. Express yourself, be yourself.
Never be afraid to try something new, or something “not really for girls.” Never doubt yourself, your strength, your intelligence, your beauty. Let your opinions be heard.
I will always support you, hold you and lift you up. I will forever be there to guide you and help you push boundaries. You are and will continue to be an amazing woman. My utmost wish is for you to be better than me, stronger than me, braver than me, and to be yourself always.
My bright-eyed girl, forget sugar and spice and all things nice, you were made from adventure, wild hair and absolutely no fear.
Love you always,
Mum
PS: Never let anyone tell you cursing isn’t for ladies. If they do you tell them “Haul ya M…
A Letter To My Daughter for IWD
‘The bar, my love, will always move. The ceiling will always seem further away. But never stop fighting. Never stop climbing’
MY bright-eyed girl.
The moment you were born and placed in my arms, I felt scared. I was scared for you.
The world is an unfair place and for a woman, it can be especially cruel.
My dear-hearted girl, you will have to fight harder, speak louder, be smarter, be braver, be harder and stand taller to make it.
You will be told you can have it all, and then be ruthlessly torn apart when you do.
You will be told to smile more and wear makeup but not too much. Be tough but not too tough, women should be soft and motherly. Be assertive but not too assertive as you don’t want to be seen as a witch.
‘Four years of full contact rugby and I had two healthy pregnancies… my uterus is fine, my shoulders not so much’
The bar, my love, will always move. The ceiling will always seem further away. But never stop fighting. Never stop climbing.
Unfortunately, people will hold you back or block you, because they think you need protection, shielding from harm or stress. Show them you are strong, let them know you can take a hit and get back up.
On a side note, never let anyone tell you playing contact sports will “break your baby-making bits.” Four years of full contact rugby and I had two healthy pregnancies… my uterus is fine, my shoulders not so much.
Do not let anyone dictate what you can or cannot do. Do not ever let anyone make you feel as though you are unable to do something or excel at something because you are a girl. Do not ever let anyone make you feel small, let them feel your presence, make yourself seen and heard.
So much will be expected from you, from so many different people and parts of society. But know this, all that I expect from you is that you be happy, that you forge your own way in life.
My love, I need you to remember this, while you may find life as a woman difficult to navigate, your road will be easier than a lot of other women. Never forget that in life you have been granted privileges that many other women have not.
Use this knowledge and what you have been given to help others. Help lift other women, recognise their struggles and use what you have to make their paths easier.
In times of weakness, remember the women you came from. Your paternal great grandmothers who came to Trinidad from the Middle East not knowing the language or culture but were determined to build a better life for themselves and their families.
Your maternal great-grandmothers, who came from Jamaica and the UK, followed their hearts and created new lives in a new land. Your great-great grandmother, who escaped Cuba and went on to build a successful business in Jamaica while raising four young children on her own.
You come from a strong line of women.
My darling, life as a woman is a complicated one. It is equally beautiful and frustrating. You will always find yourself walking a fine line, and if you are as much like your mother as I suspect, you will enjoy crossing that line. Embrace your womanhood, never make it a burden, but rather a source of inspiration to challenge stereotypes and change attitudes. Enjoy your femininity and find your freedom within it. Express yourself, be yourself.
Never be afraid to try something new, or something “not really for girls.” Never doubt yourself, your strength, your intelligence, your beauty. Let your opinions be heard.
I will always support you, hold you and lift you up. I will forever be there to guide you and help you push boundaries. You are and will continue to be an amazing woman. My utmost wish is for you to be better than me, stronger than me, braver than me, and to be yourself always.
My bright-eyed girl, forget sugar and spice and all things nice, you were made from adventure, wild hair and absolutely no fear.
Love you always,
Mum
PS: Never let anyone tell you cursing isn’t for ladies. If they do you tell them “Haul ya M…