IN the words of Mr Fete aka Machel “Hey Ha” Montano, “We! Work so hard! All week! We deserve a PARDYYYYY!”
That’s right ladies and gentlemen it’s Carnival Saturday, and many of us are gearing up for the release that the season brings. Whether you are feteing, playing mas, spectating, or staying out of the madness and visiting one our nations beautiful coastal regions, Carnival is a time of togetherness, celebration and, for a brief second, letting your stresses and worries melt away.
Having said that, I do feel as though it is my self-appointed responsibility to lay out some guidelines for ensuring your Carnival is a good one, and not one where you die, go to jail, end up in the hospital, or wake up on Ash Wednesday with crushing feelings of shame that you cannot ascribe to any one particular situation.
The following guidelines are based on personal experience, social regulations, the law and good old common sense… which as we know is becoming rarer and rarer these days.
KEEP YUH HANDS TO YOURSELF: Back in my youth, I was an indiscriminate winers. Come mas, I wining on everyone and everyting! That’s me, not everyone shares this sentiment and if you are out, you need to remember that. And if you do get a wine, that’s not an instant invitation to play grab boobies, or grab genitals. It’s not an instant “yuh getting through” and if you cross a boundary, you may find yourself getting a slap, a charge or a spectacular shut down that your friends will picong you about for months.
Ladies, please note this rule is for you too. Not every man wants your sweaty bumper rubbing up all over him… geeeeed. Respect other people’s boundaries, please and thanks.
Also, ladies, and fellas, don’t feel like you have to say “yes” to every waist coming your way. This is how people end up finding out that mystery man or woman they bounce up in jourvet outside of Lapyrouse cemetery is actually a piper who lives in an old crypt…yeah.
DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE: Listen, I am not going to stand on my invisible soap box and preach to you about the dangers of Satan’s spirits. I plan on getting rather cozy with alcohol for the next few days. Prosecco makes white women invincible. But do you know what I am not going to do? Drive or be driven by anyone whose brain is soaking in punchy punch. No thanks, I’m not ready to die or deal with the consequences of killing someone else.
Therefore, I urge you, if you are going out be it to a party or on the road, arrange for a designated driver. Hire a taxi, a maxi, a donkey cart… just don’t drive…it’s not worth it. And while I am at it, don’t get too drunk and go swimming. Be it in the sea or a river, let’s not drown, thanks.
DON’T BE A JUDGY SOURPUSS: In the year 2025 can we stop body shaming people. Carnival is a celebration of diversity and beauty, and that includes people’s bodies. If you see someone you deem too large in a thong and nipple cups, turn your head and walk away, don’t be skinning up your face. See a man in a banana hammock, balls being held in by the grace of God? If you don’t like it, walk away.
People dancing in a manner you personally find crude and offense… move along… not everyone lives to your delusionally high standard of morals Janet!
Just let people be. If they aren’t causing harm, then jog on and keep your opinions to thy self.
DOH STINK UP OTHER PEOPLE’S PROPERTY OR THE ENVIRONMENT: If you are out on the road, don’t be nasty and pelt your garbage all over the place. Don’t go popping a squat or dropping a duce around the side of someone’s home. Don’t go rubbing your jourvet paint all over tanty’s house and car. Come nah, have some brought-upsy please.
If you go to the beach or the river, clean up after yourself… again, I don’t know what I have to say this in the year 2025. Also easy with loud music, the river/beach is public domain and not everyone wants speakers blasting in their ears.
Be considerate of others and your surroundings.
YUH BIG AND HAVE SENSE: Just use yuh brain, don’t be an ass.
And lastly, have an amazing time, no matter what you are doing. Enjoy the moments, focus on the positivity instead of the negativity, and relax yuh self.
Pardyyy Time
AZP News Commentary
IN the words of Mr Fete aka Machel “Hey Ha” Montano, “We! Work so hard! All week! We deserve a PARDYYYYY!”
That’s right ladies and gentlemen it’s Carnival Saturday, and many of us are gearing up for the release that the season brings. Whether you are feteing, playing mas, spectating, or staying out of the madness and visiting one our nations beautiful coastal regions, Carnival is a time of togetherness, celebration and, for a brief second, letting your stresses and worries melt away.
Having said that, I do feel as though it is my self-appointed responsibility to lay out some guidelines for ensuring your Carnival is a good one, and not one where you die, go to jail, end up in the hospital, or wake up on Ash Wednesday with crushing feelings of shame that you cannot ascribe to any one particular situation.
The following guidelines are based on personal experience, social regulations, the law and good old common sense… which as we know is becoming rarer and rarer these days.
Ladies, please note this rule is for you too. Not every man wants your sweaty bumper rubbing up all over him… geeeeed. Respect other people’s boundaries, please and thanks.
Also, ladies, and fellas, don’t feel like you have to say “yes” to every waist coming your way. This is how people end up finding out that mystery man or woman they bounce up in jourvet outside of Lapyrouse cemetery is actually a piper who lives in an old crypt…yeah.
Therefore, I urge you, if you are going out be it to a party or on the road, arrange for a designated driver. Hire a taxi, a maxi, a donkey cart… just don’t drive…it’s not worth it. And while I am at it, don’t get too drunk and go swimming. Be it in the sea or a river, let’s not drown, thanks.
People dancing in a manner you personally find crude and offense… move along… not everyone lives to your delusionally high standard of morals Janet!
Just let people be. If they aren’t causing harm, then jog on and keep your opinions to thy self.
If you go to the beach or the river, clean up after yourself… again, I don’t know what I have to say this in the year 2025. Also easy with loud music, the river/beach is public domain and not everyone wants speakers blasting in their ears.
Be considerate of others and your surroundings.
And lastly, have an amazing time, no matter what you are doing. Enjoy the moments, focus on the positivity instead of the negativity, and relax yuh self.