By Chantalé Fletcher
WHEN couples say ‘I do’ or pledge their love for one another, do they really mean it?
AZPNews.com spoke to one special lady via phone recently, who understood the importance of marital vows, in good and bad times, sickness and in health.
Rajdaye Jogie-Roopnarine was born on May 25, 1936, in San Francique Road, Penal, to an Indian-born father, who came to Trinidad as an Indentured labourer and a local mother.
Her husband, Harripersad Roopnarine, was born on September 4, 1936, in Jaipaulsingh Road Lengua, Princes Town.
The young couple shared the same year of birth, but little did they know they would soon share their lives together.
Rajdaye and Harripersad, both 85, celebrated their 69 wedding anniversary, on February 10, 2022.
Going through six decades and nine years of struggles, good times, laughter and joy but their love, patience and faith in God saw them through.
An Arranged Union
Rajdaye recalled her father as a highly respected man within the community.
“I really wasn’t satisfied. They forced me to do it (get married) but I had to listen to my mother and father. Yet, I grew to love my husband as the years went by,” she told AZPNews.com.
The marriage of one cousin led to another.
She said, “My cousin was married in the village to my now husband’s brother, so his cousin’s mother was my aunt and they who fixed up that for me. And the marriage was registered in the Warden Office.”
At that time, Rajdaye and Haripersad were both 17 and 18 years old respectively when they were married under Hindu rites on February 10, 1953.
After the wedding, she came to Princes Town to live and had seven children – three boys and four girls which gave birth to blessed generations.
They now have a total of 21 grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren and one great-great-grandchild.
When asked what quality she loved about her husband now, she chuckled and said, “He’s hardworking, and has always maintained his family.”
His eldest son Roopdeo also praised his father for always being supportive throughout the years.
Working side-by-side for the future
Rajdaye said 69 years of marriage were no bed of roses.
She also worked alongside her husband to support their family. “I worked in the fields, planting rice, cane and reaping. I also made a kitchen garden and tended to animals together with housework.”
While Harripersad worked temporarily with the Ministry of Works, on his days off, he also worked alongside her in the fields.
But this soon changed, as Harripersad received permanent work within the ministry in road repairs.
When asked what kept their marriage together, Rajdaye admitted that she did not want to leave because of her children.
She said, ‘Though I met plenty of trouble with him in the early days, I did not want to leave, so I had patience and stayed right there.”
Rajdaye urged young couples in love and desirous of marriage to make the right choice and take time to know their partner.
“As when you have children, you cannot leave them, so be sure to make the right choice.”
When asked how people could make the right choice, Rajdaye said the question was a hard one to answer.
She explained, “When you take up somebody, like a husband, you don’t know what life they had before. You don’t know if they were a gentleman or what and when you take them up, they start to move stupid with you and that is what happened to me.”
Rajdaye said in a person’s young days, they do not really know someone.
“It’s only when you’re going down in life, you’ll know who they really are, as they can change after.”
Faith in God kept her marriage together and allowed her and Harripersad to overcome obstacles combined with her belief that things would get better one day.
She added that learning to be patient and to forgive were also important keys to holding a relationship together along with other important factors.
“Yet there were rifts in the marriage over the last 69 years from time to time and it was only forgiveness that brought it back and continues to do so.”
Rajdaye said her husband was currently bedridden and also suffered from dementia, but proudly took care of him.
“Anytime, I carry lunch or tea in the morning or in the evening time, he always says thanks, thanks, because he knows that I’m there for him.”
Though 85, she is in generally good health despite her elevated blood pressure that does not slow her down.
Celebrating in a Pandemic
Forced to adapt to the small batches in family gatherings especially at their milestone due to Covid-19 restrictions, Rajdaye and Harripersad still celebrated their wedding anniversary with cake, ice cream, food and the blessing from God.
Rajdaye smiled and expressed how thankful she was and she still had a nice time despite the changes.
Their eldest son, Roopdeo, described his mother as a devoted Hindu, who remained active in the Mandir and also created her own prayer area at home for daily devotions.
He added that his father was more appreciative of what he had now due to his dependency upon his mother.
Roopdeo said he was his parents’ first child, his daughter Cindy was their first grandchild, her daughter was their first great-grandchild and his granddaughter’s child was their first and only great-great-grandchild at the moment.
He added that Cindy will her 26th wedding anniversary on February 25 while he and his wife will celebrate 45 years of wedding bliss on March 22.
Roopdeo said it was his and his wife’s intention to follow in his parents’ footsteps in marriage.
